Cows that didn’t make the nice list

The big day is almost here and before that jolly ‘ol elf decides to spoil my Ladies with extra grain, I’ve made a list. Yeah THAT kind of list, and trust me — I’ve checked it twice!! There were some cows around the farm this year that have not been very nice. This decision was made by the elf in charge here on the farm (…me) and no outside opinions were considered by the other elves.

You might think, “Wow! I thought she was a sucker for all her animals” but dear friend, it must be pointed out that I think less of some — in fact, this list came together in about 55 seconds.

The following jerk cows, in my opinion, need a lump of coal in their stalls!

#153 – Peanut // While she’s a spunky little heifer who Brad likes to play around with, that doesn’t save her from coming in at #10. Never fails, when I’m getting cows in from the holding pen she is right behind me with her head down, until I look at her and then she backs off. I don’t play like that Peanut.

#84 – occasionally referred to as Nikki // She ONLY comes in on the left side of the parlor. She INSISTS on being in the last group and when the last group ends on the right guess who screws that all up??? #9

#89 – Roo // She’s just like her mother, Piglet, and takes forever to milk out the back right quarter. When she gets a little pissy, she kicks back. Taking the #8 spot because it ain’t my fault she’s lopsided.

#131 – the pet // She was always the heifer that wanted attention when it was bedding day, we were buds. THEN she delivered her calf and when I tried convincing her to go into the parlor she switched gears on me and my wrist got pinched. She is #7 this year and currently resides back in with the heifers because she was giving so little milk I begged Snapchat followers to convince Brad into letting me keep her for hopefully a better second lactation. Stupid pet.

#118 – Moe, but nobody calls her that // She kicks. Automatic naughty list, #6!

#141 // You would think she is starving, like every. day! She cannot leave the barn to milk until she’s shoved as much feed as possible in her face. She’s #5 because it’s annoying, she will literally push her way to the front of the herd and be done milking in a few minutes…fill your stupid face then.

#60 // Ohmygod! The slowest milker e-v-e-r. #4

#61 – Eyeliner // She won’t be first in the parlor. She will stand in the doorway, blocking any other cows from entering…#3

The Jersey bull – Charmer // That guy’s a mean little shit, he’s got a lot of aggression. In at #2 Brad is the ONLY one who deals with him.

#80 – Liger // If you’ve followed the blog for any length of time, you know I loathe this cow and it should be NO surprise that she is #1

…it’s also no surprise that #49 will be getting all the love this Christmas #justsaying

Merry Christmas, Nicole

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