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Cows that didn’t make the nice list #2

She’s makin’ a list
She’s checkin’ it twice
Gonna find out which cows are naughty or nice
This farm-HER is head-ing to the barn


I decided to give the whole Cows That Didn’t Make The Nice List another go and in its second year I’m pleased to say there are a few new brats added to the list — and to prove I don’t show favorites one or two may have even redeemed themselves from last year!

Disclaimer: These decisions were made by the elf in charge here on the farm (…me) and no outside opinions were considered by the other elves, cause that’s how I roll. Once again, this list really did come together quickly BUT my list ONLY contains EIGHT cows this year! ….And the following jerk faces, in my opinion, need a lump of coal in their stalls!

Cows on the naughty list

#84 – occasionally referred to as Nikki

STILL ON THE LIST 》 She ONLY comes in on the left side of the parlor. She INSISTS on being in the last group and when the last group ends on the right… guess who screws that all up??? She’s #8

#202 – Maxie

She was named in memory of my grandpa Max and oddly enough has the same sour patch attitude he possessed. She’s cool and laid back outside the parlor but inside when it’s time to attach the milker she kicks, and kicks with a purpose… to land that milking unit on the floor. She kicked herself into spot #7


She is a big ‘ol gal who doesn’t move unless she’s ready. With her size and my vulgar language she ranks #6 on the list, we just don’t see eye to eye! [That would be a whole lot funnier if you could see our height difference 😂]


#245 – a heifer who hasn’t calved yet

This girl is beyond curious and a little too playful! She’s due to deliver her first calf in a few months but I’m already kind of dreading her entrance to the milking herd. You’ve got to watch your backside with this one! #5


STILL ON THE LIST 》 You would think she is starving, like every. day! She cannot leave the barn to milk until she’s shoved as much feed as possible in her face. Even though our farm help loves her, she’s #4 because it’s annoying — sorry Jess


Her back teats are crossed, which means putting a milker on her is less than quick AND it usually, always squeaks. She’s close to being dried off [her vacation before calving] but not before landing the #3 spot.

#61 – Eyeliner

STILL ON THE LIST 》 She won’t be first in the parlor, though she will stand in the doorway, blocking any other cows from entering…#2

#177 – Nein

She is a big, sturdy first lactation heifer — and she ALSO kicks. Nein’s attitude is more directed at the people then the job of milking. While preping her for milking she’s a brat, but when the milker is attached she stands like a dream, then when she’s done she’ll kick the dip cup across the barn if you’re not prepared! #1 may be for sale in her next lactation

The girls who moo-ved from naughty -to- nice included: #89 and #118, #60 is STILL the slowest milker ever… but milking by myself, it just doesn’t piss me off as much as last year. #truth

I would like to add #49 is still on the NICE list and she shares the spotlight with #128 — my little angel cows! Merry Christmas, Nicole

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