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Phrases I can’t help but say to my cows

“Every day girls, every damn day, TWICE a day!” This phrase usually escapes mid milking, mid grumbling about needing more coffee or my lazy feet tripping over themselves going in and out to the holding pen. These cows crack me up, they are SO familiar to their routine and yet I still have to escort half of them into the parlor. I think they just crave the one-on-one time with me šŸ˜‰

“Moooo-ve bitch, get out the way” or “I like big butts and I cannot lie”, and sometimes “come on girls, I feel like a woman” šŸŽµ Lyrics and music, it just happens, and the more the cows stand in my way the louder I sing and the more aggressive I dance — I only wish I was kidding about this, oddly though backing it up to #49 doesn’t phase her a bit.

Our parlor is a swing-8, cows are in here about 10 minutes TWICE a day

“Really? You couldn’t possibly hold that for another 30 seconds” because she just stood in the parlor for about 6 minutes and has to shit about 4 feet from the doorway out.

“That wasn’t very lady like” whether a cow belch or fart, it’s loud and always at an inappropriate time, like when I’m passing by. And due to my height and their height it’s always at the wrong height.

My girl #49

Working with these girls every day is just like any relationship between co-workers; it’s just that I can swear and they have tiny brains. I know, most every milking

#89 will come in the first group

#162 will get shit on my arms

#214 will kick the milker off at least once

#77 will hold the process up because she puts her head on the wrong side of the cow before her

#201 will try like hell to be the last one milked

Just like I can count on these habits, they can rely on my overused phrases! If you ever hear my children singing Ludacris just blame it on the cows! Xo, Nicole

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