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Tag: Cuss words

My anxiety

I can not breath right now. My entire body is incredibly tense and even the simple act of exchanging air has me worked up. My feelings fester and build until my body, quite literally, feels like it is shutting down. I don’t want to be friendly right now, I am angry, I am distracted, I don’t feel like myself. I have to do something I absolutely do not want to do and it is paralyzing me. I am going on a school field trip today with my 9 year old daughter. Crazy, right!?? How is it that attending something so…

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Too much truth on a Tuesday

For me, owning a dairy farm kind of sucks right now. It is pulling all the strength I have. It has emptied my soul and left me bitter. I’m down right angry and if you try telling me how lucky I am based on the photos I post – I’ll tell you to kiss my ass. What you see is bare feet on five gallon buckets, not the fact that we’ve had to cut back on hired labor and babysitters because we are monitoring our expenses. You don’t see me reasoning with a bored 3yo who just took his bicycle…

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Do we talk about it

I’m at my nephews birthday party, feeling all kinds of uncomfortable, because it’s people around me and not cattle. The kids are running rampant, hyped up on blue frosting, playing with Lego pieces which I’m certain will end up in my sister’s feet at some point in the night. I smile at that thought – because it isn’t me, or my feet. And then I hear someone talking, to me… “How’s farming going?” It’s a generic question right, I’m mean I’m sure he isn’t anticipating my loaded response. But what should I say. Words like hard, difficult, exhausting don’t cut…

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